Bad timing, TimeOut New York: “Your Winter’s Over—Raise A Glass! The Best Spring Bars” is out—except it’s a rainy, snowy day. But the cover feature still offers plenty to look forward to in rooftops, beer gardens, parkside spots, and most important, “10 must-try cocktails.”
Speaking of New York, National Geographic, besides its “The Genius of the Inca” cover, features “New York’s Miracle Park”—the High Line, of course.
Slow People week, apparently, since they’ve gone with “The Jolie-Pitts Big Happy Family!” with “New photos!” and “the latest on the kids.” The only other indication of contents is “Renee & Bradley—inside their split”—also the cover of OK-US, which actually reverses People in putting “Brad & Angie’s Twins!” up second.
From In Touch we clearly need to know that Scott has called off the wedding, Kourtney has exploded, and now it’s the “Battle For The Baby.”
Star has “Hollywood Stylists Tell[ing] All!” with the likes of J-Lo, Rihanna, LeAnn and Jen pictured. “Who duct tapes her boobs!” is one of the many vital pieces of info revealed—which will not be divulged here. Life & Style has “shocking new details” of “Suri’s Twisted World” (again, we won’t divulge anything, except, maybe, she “plays with X-rated candy.” Okay, since you asked nicely, she’s also “still using a pacifier at age 4”).
Teen mom “Leah & Corey’s Wedding!” is the cover story of US Weekly, though our eyes wandered to the right margin, where “Kourtney Kardashian’s Flat Abs Secrets” was illustrated.
Bazaar’s “Shopping Issue” has lovely Courteny Cox on the cover, inside revealing why she and David split. On the shopping tip, it has “526 New Looks” (“Fabulous at Every Age”) with associated must-have bags and shows and best beauty buys. New Beauty likewise offers “10 new age-defying secrets” alongside how cover girl Jennifer Lopez stays sexy over 40(!).
Over at W it’s “The New Society,” i.e., “Couture Club—The Frocks, the Fetes, the Scene,” “Will & Kate—Inside the Royal Wedding,” “India’s Nouveau Riche” and “24-karat Lips.” But the “Double Edge” cover of Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender, who “steam up the screen” in Jane Eyre, must be false: the long blade both are gripping bare-handed can’t possibly be real.
But Men’s Fitness “gets real” with cover boy Scott Disick, “TV’s Most Controversial Reality Star,” and offers “Our Ultimate Golf Workout.” Regarding golf, Esquire suggests that it’s time to “Forgive Tiger Woods,” though they would have a tough case in defending his continued poor play and bad sportsmanship. Otherwise, Matthew McConaughey looks sharp on the cover, though his black suit blocks out his name such that we had to look up the spelling!
Harper’s has an illustration of Mark Twain to accompany Lewis H. Lapham’s essay “Mark Twain and the loss of American courage.” Inside Zadie Smith expounds on “The Hereafter,” Luc Sante on “The Graphic novels of Lynd Ward.”
Globe’s “25 Favorite Celebs—Where are they now?” cover caught our eye, thanks to the prominently placed Adam West and Burt Ward—the real Batman and Robin. And happy to see Rose Marie, a child star as Baby Rose Marie but warmly remembered here for her roles in The Dick Van Dyke Show and Hollywood Squares, is still alive and kicking—at 87! Over at National Enquirer, we learn that the “payoff to keep mother silent” has failed, as “Oprah’s Mom Tells All!”—but please, we can say no more!
Meanwhile, “The DIY Revolution starts now” over at Wired, where engineer-turned-entrepreneur Limor Fried is pictured in a modern Rosie the Riveter pose to go with the “How to Make Stuff—24 awesome projects” cover feature. Nylon singles out Vanessa Hudgens among its “Stars of Sucker Punch” cover feature.
Zink offers “162 reasons to be Sexy” while authoritatively declaring “Men Are In”—prompting an audible sigh of relief here in the Gottfried’s office. Details gives us “The 15 Healthiest Snack Foods” as part of “The diet that makes you look younger,” while fronting “O Brother, Where Art Thou? Joe Jonas Goes It Alone” on the cover, with either apologies or royalties definitely due to the Coen Brothers.
And look to extensive Monday magazine coverage on the passing of the late, great Liz Taylor.
--jim Bessman
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